Hello and happy Full Moon in Aquarius, my friends! I’m back with another Full Moon journal page (at the end) and tarot reading! The energy we are dealing with is revealing and transformative, and as always with the full moon it asks us to look deep into our lives for what we are ready to release, so that we can grab hold of the things we really want.

After I had selected the cards, a phrase jumped into my mind. “It has never been about how other people treat you.” I ruminated on all the seemingly important memories of my unfortunate mistreatment at the hands of others as I chopped vegetables for my breakfast. The second half of that phrase interrupted my lamentations. “You need to see that you gave up on yourself.” In an instant, my perspective on that highlight reel changed. Instead of the victim of external forces, I suddenly saw myself as the messenger for those external forces, inflicting pain upon my inner world as punishment for the discomfort I felt about what was happening. Even though I was adamant that what “the other” was doing to me was bad or wrong, inside I was hurting as if they were right. And in that moment I began to understand what years of therapy could never teach me. The battles have always been won or lost on the INSIDE.

Obviously that is a huge revelation to have over breakfast, and it is not something that one just learns by reading no matter how much one agrees with the text. Wisdom is revealed to us when we are ready for it, so I would encourage you to receive whatever resonates right now and leave the rest. If you do feel called to investigate your inner world, do so not as a tyrant, but as a friend. Not an ice-cream-and-binge-watching kind of friend, but the kind of friend who sees when you are overwhelmed and suggests grounding exercises instead of numbing behaviors. Leaving a party instead of staying for another round. Going to bed instead of texting the ex. Getting up early for gym or yoga instead of staying up late swiping. Drinking water even when you’re not thirsty. Be that friend for yourself, and over time as you learn to see yourself through good times and bad, you will learn to show up for yourself no matter what anybody has to say about it.

Choosing to accept our limitations does not mean conceding to feelings of unworthiness. If we think our lack in a certain area disqualifies us for something we want, we can choose to be angry at ourselves for our lack (and often resentful of others for it), deceitful about our capabilities to try to get what we “deserve”, or we can be humble and express our wants, knowing the answer might be no, but it might shed some light on how we can work toward what we want. The energy of this cycle asks us to get a little more clear about what we want, so that we can be more discerning about where we put our efforts in the coming month. Work toward the results you want, not against the fears that limit you.

Check the archives for old entries below!

Check out the archives for more! 🙂

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