New Moon February 11, 2021

This Aquarian New Moon energy is intense, and today’s reading pulled no punches. You can read it for yourself, and I’ll highlight some of the points in the post below. As always, you will find the free download of this month’s new moon journal pages at the end of this post. I really hope you’re enjoying them, and I hope this reading inspires you to break free of stagnation and align your mindset even more with your highest self!

We are being asked to look at the results of our prior actions and intentions, and reassess what we need to do to move forward. This reading specifically called out our inauthentic behavior… giving or receiving mixed signals, or acting out of fear or anticipation of another person’s feelings or reactions. Whether or not our reasons for behaving this way are justified, this is manipulative behavior intended to get a desired reaction instead of having an authentic interaction. During this check-in we are asked to look critically at how this misalignment with who we really are and what we really want is impacting our current experience.

“You can’t be so disappointed by not having the things you never worked for. If you want it, commit, and face the world owning all of it. Your faults, your failures, and your triumph.”

New Moon Tarot Reading, February 11, 2021

This reading had a very important message regarding our personal power and our personal relationships, represented by two Kings in their reversed positions, and 2 Queens in their upright positions. The first King (Swords) was the significator card describing the reading as a whole. This card can signal deceit or manipulation of a situation, but the empowering way to read it is that we need to be honest with ourselves about the ways we have not been so honest in the past. The second King (Wands) represented the heart of the matter, and as the suit that represents our dreams and ambitions, it can describe a situation where we are overly critical of ourselves. High expectations can be appropriate in some situations, but the implication here is that the gap between our expectations and our reality is stalling our progress and causing us pain.

As Sword also represent logic and our business-mindsets, this can be applied to the internal structures of logic and the way we set and work toward our goals. Let’s draw our attention to internalized beliefs about the world, and the stories we tell ourselves about our failures and successes. Are we really being prevented from succeeding because of external circumstances, or is that a convenient cover story to mask our internalized belief that success is just not possible for “someone like me”? Have you ever given up in the eleventh hour, or even the second or third hour, because of that voice inside telling you, “This will never work…”? Your mind is the ultimate gatekeeper, and if you haven’t mastered your thoughts, you aren’t likely to get around them. The way out of this, is through it.

Do you see what I mean by intense? We are being called to stand up and look at the world eye-to-eye, and the only way we will have the strength to do that is if we face the internal struggles that we have been avoiding. The other side of this court card equation, and the way “through it”, is the energy of the two Queens… we must nurture what we want to grow. When we use our natural authority within the realm of our natural power, our efforts will not be hindered needlessly. The two Queens in the spread represent our abundance (Crystals) and logic (Swords), indicating once again that shifting from our current belief system into one that allows for our success can create space for the abundance we want to find us.

“Those who expect perfection from themselves will punish others for not meeting their expectations. Neither will meet those expectations, but the perfectionist is the one creating the suffering for all. Tend to your karma.”

New Moon Tarot Reading, February 11, 2021

In all honesty, this reading kind of stung. Especially the quote above. While those words spoke directly to me, I have a feeling that some of you will feel them too. We live in a world full of expectation, but nowhere is that more apparent than within my mind. I used to think it was a “good” thing to be harder on myself than anyone else could be. I thought I kept it to myself… but as it turned out, I just hadn’t realized the ways in which I was projecting that internal frustration into the world. I would become so frustrated that even small inconveniences would turn into 20 minute blood pressure sprints, even days later. Justifying my frustration, I told myself that I would never “accept” mistakes like that from myself… but last I checked, I am still human. We are ALL human, and we ALL make mistakes! How we handle them says a lot about how we handle ourselves, and I think many of us could stand to be a little kinder.

“Take responsibility, not blame, and learn to carve out a new path.”

New Moon Tarot Reading, February 11, 2021

Admittedly, when it came to setting goals I used to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater quite frequently. The truth is that I wasn’t “accepting” mistakes from myself because I believed nobody else would, either. I thought the world operated by the same standards at play in my mind… turns out, THAT was the mistake! I didn’t feel worthy of grace, so I didn’t expect it from others. Upon hitting a bump in the road, I would try to outwardly project grace… but inside I felt like the car skidding into the ditch, AND the bump. Ouch! It’s easy to give up when you don’t feel worthy of the goal in the first place, and it’s hard to see perfectionism as a problem when you think it is what is required of you. I’ve worked really hard to get to a place that I can see, admit, and now find humor in the ways I have deceived myself, and I’m feeling a lot less like an out-of-control jalopy these days. Messages like these tell me that there is still work to be done, and as an imperfect human, I can accept that with grace.

“Ultimately you are the one who denies yourself peace.”

New Moon Tarot Reading, February 11, 2021

Back to the reading… we are being advised that our desires will not materialize before our eyes without a sacrifice on our part. Not of the biblical, burnt offering type, but a sacrifice of time, energy, sweat… we’re being asked to commit to ourselves and our higher purpose. Find gratitude in the journey thus far, and trust that NOT getting everything we want in this moment will be a good thing. If we are patient, we will see everything unfold in a way that supports our authentic desires and the highest good of all involved. Put another way, some of what we think we want is coming from a place of lack, and will not satisfy us once we get it.

There was a lot of powerful stuff in here, and this week I plan to publish a few separate journal prompts so that we can process our thoughts a little deeper. I hope you enjoyed this reading and the journal pages, and if you happen to be reading this on the day of the new moon, consider joining me today on Clubhouse (@dottiepilates) at 6pm EST to chat about it! I’d love to answer any questions you might have, or just chat about tarot, journaling, goal setting, or just life in general! Either way, I hope you have a fantastic new moon, and thanks for reading!


Full Moon January 28, 2021

We’ve made it to the end of January, and this full moon in Leo packs quite a punch! Leo is a fire sign and is represented by the suit of Wands, which also represents our ambitions, confidence, and impulses in life. Wands showed up quite a bit in today’s reading, along with the presence of quite a few court cards, which I interpreted as asking us to look for the ways we are allowing the opinions of others to erode our confidence and hold us back from putting ourselves out there. Read on for my interpretation of the Celtic Cross spread I pulled, and download the free journal pages at the end!

The significator card is 7 of Cups in its reversed position, which flavors the reading by asking us to get real with ourselves. If you’ve been holding onto unrealistic goals without a tangible plan to make things happen, or fooling yourself about the role you have played in your own troubles, today’s reading might sting a little.

You are not who anyone thinks you are, unless maybe you’re trying to control what they think of you…

January 2021 Full Moon Tarot Reading

Most of us don’t even struggle to see the ways we try to manipulate others… we are truly blind to it. That internal blindness makes us extra-sensitive, and sometimes we project our inner turmoil onto the world around us in a misguided (but earnest) attempt to resolve the inner unrest. We strike out against the ghosts that we conjured into the world, often severing relationships in the process, all the while telling ourselves that our anger was necessary and our foul behavior justified because of “outside forces”. In today’s reading, the 8 of Crystals (Pentacles in other decks) represents those “outside forces”… and as it turns out, this card represents spiritual growth and reaping the rewards we have earned from the time we have invested. It seems kind of counter-intuitive, but since everything is happening FOR you, not TO you, let’s try to practice alchemy!

You got what you wanted… so what did you make of it?

January 2021 Full Moon Tarot Reading

This full moon is dredging up something – whether that is people, situations, or feelings – from our pasts that we might have hoped never to think of again. (King of Wands Rx) It’s doing this not to knock us down, but to allow us to stand in grace. In the past, we stood on top of a suitcase full of excuses for our choices and behavior… we highlighted how wrong the situation was and how innocent we were. That suitcase never latched properly, and we’ve lived in fear of that latch coming undone and exposing the content of that suitcase ever since. This fear made it difficult for us to stretch ourselves sometimes, and some of us (myself included) started to believe that the fear was coming from outside of the suitcase, and not the suitcase itself.

You are not who anyone else thinks you are, so control your behavior and not others’ perception of your behavior.

January 2021 Full Moon Tarot Reading

The 3 of Wands reversed as the heart of the matter is crossed by the Page of Cups reversed, describing a situation where we struggle to separate our need for acceptance with our actual needs… and we need to learn to see the ways we have failed ourselves instead of the ways others have failed us. Ouch. At the root of this is the major arcana card Strength reversed, indicating that we need to face our sacred fears and trust that we are strong enough to survive, even when the ego is screaming that it can’t bear to look at the truth. The truth is, my friends, that the world has failed us 100 times… but we have failed ourselves 100 times 100 times. Why do we insist on holding anyone accountable when failure is not a crime? I’ll say that louder for the people in the back…

Why do we insist on holding anyone accountable when failure is not a crime?

January 2021 Full Moon Tarot Reading

The other ugly truth is that we’re not really trying to hold people accountable for their actions… we are trying to blame them for our uncomfortable feelings. THAT is where things tend to go sideways. THAT is the deception that fools nobody but ourselves. We have projected the wounds of the past into our present-day scenarios, escalating simple situations into all-out brawls, demanding “respect” and an audience with the manager when an exhausted barista scrawls our name illegibly on the $6 oat milk iced coffee beverage we ordered… “I said NO ice!!!”… just trying to get a healing for our emotions. It was never about the latte, or the penmanship, or the way someone looked at us… it was about what our early emotional imprinting told us those things MEANT about us. That we weren’t good enough, or pretty enough, smart enough, too picky… whatever it was, it wasn’t about the latte. It started with us… we made a choice to believe what it meant… and we can choose to see things differently.

The 3 of Cups in the recent past position asks us to think about the relationships and opportunities that we asked for and that we received… and what we did with those opportunities. King of Wands reversed in the “highest good” position describes not only that our past choices never really go away, but also that we don’t need to define ourselves by our mistakes and the we are being asked to allow the experience to change us. To ripen us and make us sweet though, not to rot us from the insides. Transformation reversed in the near future position (Death in some other decks) is telling us that THIS obsession with the past is what is preventing us from moving forward, and that is nobody’s fault but our own.

Time spent cannot be reclaimed, but investments pay dividends. Invest your time, don’t spend it.

January 2021 Full Moon Tarot Reading

The Queen of Wands is one of my favorite cards, as she represents personal power and optimism with a shot of wild, independent fierceness that I adore. She is fiery AND kind. She embraces the whole spectrum, and in this reading she shows up in the position that describes the subject of the reading… you and I. The message I got from her today was that our power comes not from denying our weaknesses, but from embracing all aspects of ourselves as exactly what we need to experience right now. Embrace what needs healing as much as what we have mastery of. Embrace it, but don’t put it on a pedestal… we are not here to be anti, we are here to be real. We must accept all aspects of ourselves, but part of the deal is that we strive toward being better every day.

The 8 of Crystals gives us a peek at the energy surrounding our situation, and as we mentioned before seems a little contrary at first blush. The culmination of our efforts exposing all of the wasted energy, inner wounds that we projected outward, damaged relationships, and emotional immaturity does NOT seem like a good thing. It feels heavy, but anything tied down will feel heavier than it is. We need to sever the ties in order to let it go and leave it in the past as a lesson. That is our only choice for alchemy, my friends, and one that is not particularly easy or simple. Interestingly enough, the phrasing that came across with this message is more commonly used to talk about money than time. We are being asked to see the value in the mistakes we have made and not to write it all off as a loss.

Can we really live with the compromise of something that feeds only our bodies, but not our souls?

January 2021 Full Moon Tarot Reading

The Emperor describes our hopes and fears, asking us to stop worrying our lives away. He advises us to learn how to take initiative, the right ways this time, and to plan ahead so we can be ready to ask questions should something come up. The King of Crystals reversed in the outcome position asks us to look carefully at our energetic balance for signs of self-indulgence and to be brutally honest with ourselves. Where we find inauthenticity or partial success, we are asked to investigate. Can we really live with the compromise of something that feeds only our bodies, but not our souls? We don’t need to spend more, talk more, or acquire more… we need to invest more. Time and energy invested in ourselves will pay back dividends, even if at first blush it seems rather harsh.

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you found something in here that resonated with you! As promised, feel free to download the free journal pages below! The download is an 8″ x 10″ (standard office paper size) .pdf that has room to punch holes for a binder or notebook. I hope you are able to take a moment during this cycle for meditation and letting go. Namaste, friends!